LITTERature Marketing 101

Thursday, November 09, 2017 by Kevin W. Reszel

First and foremost, we need to begin with a few basic questions like … when did this all begin?  Who had the idea, the gumption?  And more importantly, why did they think it would work?  Why all these questions?  What exactly are we talking about here?  How many more questions can I ask?  Answer:  MANY ... when we're talking about LITTERature Marketing.  

If you're a homeowner, you know LITTERature Marketing.  If you take pride in the curb appeal of your property, you know LITTERature Marketing.   If you've ever walked to the end of your driveway and picked up a small bag filled with trash and realized, this is a business crying out for marketing help, you know LITTERature Marketing.  

Simply put, LITTERature Marketing is a promotional blend of collateral, branding and assorted trash/landscaping materials, conveniently delivered directly to homes of unsuspecting consumers.  Perceived as curbside REFUSE (trash), LITTERature Marketing will most certainly be REFUSEd (declined).  Why?  Let’s just say that … nothing says trust me, quality craftsmanship, and pride in your brand and biz like a two-cent sandwich bag filled with a tattered origami flyer and two dirty stones, scuffed from re-entry after being heaved from a speeding vehicle with surgical precision, landing strategically on John and Jane Q. Public’s driveway, curb or street side sewer grate.

Confused?  Intrigued?  Disgusted?  Sure.  That's the basic reaction to this form of, dare I say ... marketing?  For those of you still unfamiliar with the complexities of LITTERature Marketing, here’s a quick breakdown of how to create your own LITTERature Marketing campaign.

Step 1.  — IDEATION & DESIGN.  Create a poorly designed, unintelligible two-sided, black-and-white flyer, printed on a dot-matrix tractor fed cart printer from 1979.

Step 2. — CAMPAIGN COMPONENT(S) ACQUISITION.  During your daily Big Gulp run at the local stop-n-shop convenience store, visit the sundries aisle to pick up several hundred boxes of clear plastic sandwich bags with the handy zip-lock tops.

Next, it's off to your backyard, unpaved parking lot or better yet, the landscaping department of your local big box hardware store to pick up everyday, run-of-the-mill, decorative river rock.  Depending on the size of your campaign distribution, best to acquire no less than 2 cubic feet of said decorative stone.

Step 3. — BINDING.  Begin folding (by hand) the previously mentioned, poorly designed, unintelligible two-sided, black-and-white flyer.  Be sure to over-think the number of creases and folds, making certain that your brand identity is barely visible from afar.  A good point of reference would be the average distance of a garage door to the street side curb.

Step 4. — ASSEMBLY.  With campaign packaging (bags) completed and campaign components acquired, it's now time to begin the all-important assembly phase.  Start by opening the patented zip-lock sandwich bag (campaign packaging).  Next, insert the poorly designed, unintelligible two-sided, black-and-white flyer.  Once the flyer has come to rest at the bottom of the non-gusseted clear plastic bag, delicately and yet deliberately, drop two of the larger decorative river rocks into the bag.  Be sure to select the more filthy stones, ensuring close contact with the adjacent flyer.  LITTERature Marketing best practices have shown that a flyer slightly smudged with mud and/or muck found within the decorative stone bag is critical to campaign authenticity. 

Step 5. — DISTRIBUTION.  With hundreds of bags now on board, it’s time to gas up the company pick up truck and hit the road.  The goal; to travel to as many neighborhoods in your region, preferably in the wee hours of the morning, allowing you the element of surprise as you lay ‘waste’ to neighborhoods across the county and your soiled campaign payload.  

Upon arrival in a given neighborhood, conduct a hard-target search for any and all unobstructed or obstructed household driveways.  For maximum efficiency, open the driver and front passenger windows prior to setting off.  Initiate the distribution phase by driving up and down the various neighborhood streets, preferably at a high speed, 'pitching' the customized campaign packages (sandwich bags filled with flyers and rocks) out the windows and on to the driveways of your ideal target audience.  Allow gravity to be your campaign co-pilot during distribution.  This LITTERature Marketing sales technic is known as the 'rock-and-hard-place campaign pitch’. 

Step 6. — CAMPAIGN MEASUREMENT & ROCK ON INVESTMENT (ROI).  After exhausting all of the campaign payload, it’s best at this point to head directly back to your place of business to reap the rewards of your LITTERature Marketing campaign. Best to sit back and wait, and wait, AND WAIT for that phone to ring because … nothing says trust me, quality craftsmanship, and pride in your brand and biz like a two-cent sandwich bag filled with a tattered origami flyer and two dirty stones, scuffed from re-entry after being 'heaved' from a speeding vehicle with surgical precision, landing strategically on John and Jane Q. Public’s driveway, curb or street side sewer grate.      

Makes me think of that wonderful old saying … ‘People who pass houses shouldn’t thrown stones.’  ;-}  Okay, sure.  That old saying really goes … ‘People who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones’ but you get my meaning, right?  Bringing your all-important brand/services messaging to the masses is a fragile thing.  The ‘vehicle’ you use to carry that message is just as important as the concepts conveyed.   

In other words, skip the ‘bag-o-rocks-and-trash’ and hire an actual advertising agency, PR or marketing company/consultant that will truly ROCK the very foundation of your business. 

110917 blog litterature mktg